As I bade farewell today to my teacher, Dr. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam, I reminisce my short, yet very effective meeting with him in 2011 at the Toklai Tea Research guest house, Jorhat.
I asked him, "Sir, one word of advice from you!"
"Just dream big dreams and hold onto that dream. Keep that dream alive at all times! "
And that's what I have done since then and those are the words I choose to speak to young children I counsel across the Northeastern states as an Oxford University Resource person and even in remote villages in my political capacity as the Vice-Chairperson of the Minority Department of APCC.
Today, as I watched Dr. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam's final journey, I wrote a couple of lines to pay my respects for a man I would have wished to meet once more, maybe many more times.

A BILLION PRAYERS

I cried
For the first
Time,
As you waited
To see me bid
Goodbye
To you!
You flashed that
Smile
Like you always
Did!
And told me
"I would be happier if you
Smiled!"
I wish I could!
I am heart-broken
Today!
I wish you were not saying
Goodbye!
I wish I could have met
You
One more time
Just once more
And talked about my
Heart!
I was hoping you would
Tell me to
Dream again
And hold onto that
Dream,
Like you did when I met
You
Years back!
Your words always stay with
Me!
I carry them deep in my
Heart
Wherever I
Go!
I spread your message
Among the people of
Your Nation,
My Nation
Amongst your children,
Who are heavy in the
Heart
Today!
As you lie in peace in your
Home,
You smile again and wipe my
Tears!
The wind from the sea-shore
Caress
Your silver-grey hair
And the warmth of the morning sun
Create a heavenly halo
Around you!
I know for sure now that
You're going!
The sea-gulls are crying
To welcome you
To your abode
In the
Clouds!
To your galaxy!
I know you will always be there
For me!
You turn and wave!
And as my eyes brim over with
Tears,
You disappear in the billion
Sands of time!

UNIVERSE OF MATTER

Did I think first? Did

I create thoughts? Or

Did I create 

Matter?

Does it matter? 

Be it dark or light! 

Yes it does!

Cause I want to know

Who thought about

Singularity?

Yes, yes.....if it really happened

Then someone really had

To be thinking hard!

Imagine thinking of creating

The Universe and the Universes,

The planets and the moons? 

An ethereal imagination, from

A mass of energy?

But does it matter...

If matter came first or was I even thinking of

Creating matter?

I never thought of creating the Sun or 

The Moon!

No never! 

Or the Earth for that matter! 

The stars? Or is it the light coming

From other Suns 

From the beginning of the

Big Bang?

I was thinking even before I was born

In my mother's womb....

Of a World I knew that existed! 

Of a World that was more 

Humane!

But I remember I definitely didn't think of 

Creating bloodshed

In Pothorughat, Nellie, Kokrajhar or in

Ganeshguri....

Or Khagrabari?

I didn't dream of killing my brothers I would have

Known

And laughed with!

Where I grappled with an incomplete 

Dream 

With my Krishna! 

"I created! And you?"

His blueness definitely 

Made me articulate a

Jazz number!

My people weren't pleased,

And they ensnared me in a web of

Hate!

Christened and embalmed in 

Religion! 

Did I matter when I died 

Consumed in flames

To turn to molecular matter again? 

To return to 

Infinity!

I ride on time 'cause it is you who created 

Time!

I thought, I created, I procreated, 

Yet I succumbed to the follies

Of men! 

Ah, he is so cruel, so inhuman...so

Insensitive! 

To my wounded, stained, open palms..

My lips barely speaking

As I lay on the 

Streets!

Hopeless, homeless?

Only to treacherously create

The Democrat!

Me?

Yes! 

Does it matter? 

Yes it does! 

Cause I will now create

A world 

My people know not of!

The deafening silence of hatred 

To be replaced by the songs of the

Lord! 

But then, will it matter if I create a temple or a mosque to worship my Creator to be trampled in bloodshed? Who will know that I created the river and the hills which are no more only to be replaced by the eerie silence of a graveyard? 

YOU KNOW! 

You know

Something?

I don't want to 

Grow up

I want to remain

13,

Just like when you 

Met me! 

Please let me be

This way!

Do you think you 

Would like me more

If I grew up

Into a matured 

Woman,

Who would have control 

Over her

Emotions?

Please don't let me 

Grow up!

I like to cling to your

Cloak of emotions!

And breathe your

Life! 

Of being 

Infinite.....

In eternity!

To return only 

As your spectrum

In a resonance of 

Colours! 

Of your soulful

Physicality

Using love to 

Magnify mirth

Of the Moon!

You know what I am saying cause it's only you know the stories of the Blue River I swam in! 

NASTY CLOUDS

Ah, 'twas those nasty clouds which got in the way

Of my tears

As I flew through space with you

They moved in a strange diagonal pattern?

An ocean which stood still 

In a blinding terror of 

Scepticism!

Love is stranger than the

Fireflies meshing a 

Web of lies around my forehead!

There was none other

Who knew of the strange reverberation 

In my heart

Only for that one 

Missing beat! 

Oh to hear a sonorous song

On a morn when the cuckoos 

Are resting! 

The brightness of those nasty clouds

So evil

Yet I planted a seed....

As diaphanous dreams collided 

Atop a hill 

Sacred they said! 

Criss-crossing veins on an embryo 

To feed a people 

Of a generation tumultuous! 

OF THE MOON AND LOVE

I didn’t know

The Moon would

Tell me stories

Even now

In a different language...

In his mother’s tongue?

We both knew

Though, there was a space,

In between the hills

Where the snake lives

In its slimy coat

To slither over the

Seeds?

We had sown them,

Remember?

In the fields....

One mystic  night?

But with our hearts

Abandon

Moon said, “If only you knew.”

I knew, I know! 

FAST REVERSE

Incoherent,

I tried to understand 

You

As I stood

Disheveled

Disheartened

Distant

Distorted

Distraught?

You looked

Askance

Unperturbed by the rapidity

Of emotions

Flowing through me.

Once upon a time

You braided dreams 

Through my hair

Now the putrid air

Stinks fouler than

When you told her,

"I don't find you attractive!"

I stood laughing anew

Waiting for the 

Menopause season

To rake new stories

Of gore and guilt

Through a body

You once glorified

As your own.

NIGHTMARE

The clouds came...

 Darkening everything in its fury...

 She knew his heart would beat...

 But nay...not for her anymore...

 See my love...

 The dark stead comes...

 Fast and furious...

 And has crushed your love...

 Under its galloping hooves...

 Knowing too well that she will die...but did she?

 Hark! There she lies...beheaded and bereft of any life...

 Breathing the last drops of jasmine...

UNISON

Death came calling last night

With a sharp poisoned arrow

In his hands

That he pierced

Through my already bleeding 

Heart...

As I writhed in pain

After withstanding an intial 

Blow...

He asked me, his face dark and grim

Why I wanted to live

Any more?

But...I told him

My love knows not

Of my existence.

I want him to know

I am alive

That I live only to keep

Him alive

In his life is mine

In his breath I survive...

Give me a while

I pleaded of death,

As he was about 

To strike me down...

You will get but a Universe

To prove...But I will come

To take you and tell you

That your existence for him

Was futile...

He will have never deciphered

Your breath for him!

January 2014

REQUIEM FOR LOVE

I wanted to 

Be God

Always! 

I still do!

Friends were sure

I was insane! 

But why is wishing 

To be God

Thought to be

Crazy?

Or for that matter

Goddess?

My lover always 

Says

I look like a

Goddess!

And I love smiling 

At him

Like an 

Angel! 

He loves me

When I smile,

He wants me to be

Happy!

As a child,

I wanted to be Robinhood!

Friends back in school

Thought

That that's a crazy 

Ambition!

But why not?

I would have

Worked day and night

In my own special way,

To get the deprived

What they wanted! 

And they would have been so

Happy! 

Plain, simple, happy!

Laughing in glee!

But if I was God,

I would have 

Created magic

For people.

They would have just 

Prayed to me,

Raising their hands,

Towards me...

For their wants 

And desires,

And I would have

Given, just given,

Without too much of a

Hanky-panky!

Imagine the smiles on their

Faces!

The tears of joy!

There would have been no 

Havenots then!

My lover always 

Says,

I always imagine too much!

But he loves me anyway! 

With my crazy imaginations

Et al! 

One evening

As a little girl..

I was blown away 

By the fact that I had it in 

Me

To be a Florence Nightingale!

I still want to be one!

My lover flashes me 

That 

Smile,

And makes me fall in 

Love

With him again!

And what if I was Mother Teresa?

I ask him! 

He just looks away, 

Emotions giving way to 

Tears!

I know....

I hold his hands and ask him!

Imagine if I was God!

You and I would have done only 

Good

For everyone! 

Irrespective of any religion,

Any borders, any community!

There would have been just 

One World, one people

And only equals!

My lover and I flew over the rainbow, our wings flapping together in unison!