December, 2009

My eyes

Listened

To only

Your song

Of sadness.

Tears

Gave way

To words.

Sleeping on

The Grass

Green!

Krishna

Was but

A Vision

But, My Lord,

You lay

There

Next to me

Speaking of

Red

On your

Glasses, bloody..

Like war-paint.

Painful encounters

Unbearable

Ecstasy.

Wonder

If my

Soul

Can burn

All….?

December, 2009

Wishes…..?

There

Were so many

But just

Two.

The wind

Lashed….

The rainbow

The Star

On the

Hilltop

Smoke engulfed

In dreams..

Raptured

Silence..

But

Distrust

So many…?

Tomorrow..?

Today..? Answers..?

I wait..

For you

My Lord…

Come and save me

From this dark

Room…

I wait..

Fearful!

August, 2009

I took the

Plunge

Deep –

Into the ravines.

The wind

Gushing

Into my lungs

The crevices

Of my

Body…!

Eyes closed

I saw you

My Lord

Smiling…!

I questioned

Why?

You only smiled

Again?

Lord please,

Hold me…

I cried

Time and time.

Ice cold

Water!

My lungs

Filled

With your

Love.

This time

You held

Me.

Caressing

My hair.

While we

Danced

In the placid

Blue sheets

Of our passion.

And then

Like a

Wisp of

Blue and gold

Smoke

You left

Me,

Bereaved…

Incapable of Love!

July, 2009

Sadness is

But a small

Word

To describe

My cries,

The tears

The pain

The torment

Of separation!

Love oft

Spake

Of forever

But you,

My love

Knew better!

Of the future,

Serene, calm

Yet storm

A’ brewing

Wish I knew

What else

Would see

Us through.

Incoherent,

Words?

Brimming

To a point

Of

Overpowering

Madness!

‘Life’s messages

Typed in

Golden initials,”

You had said.

I could

Barely

Rectify the

Gargantuan

Damage to

Your soul.

I knew none

Other

Who bore a

Wound so deep…..

As yours

My Lord.

May, 2009

Is this mine?

Or thine?

I see only you

Your reflection

The bright yellow

Golds of ray

Spreadeth through

My minds eye…

Bringing the many hues.

The gold adorned

Blue Bosom….

The bands on the

Arms…!

The silk drapes?

The feather brushes

My countenance.

Oh Lord, God,

My Krishna,

To you

I bequeath

This Life!

April, 2009

I cried and cried

Till the pillows

Were wet,

I cried till

I could cry no more

Emotions so deep

Feelings so bitter,

So distant

You are

Wish you were

Here

Here….to see me,

How my poor heart bled,

Bled till it could bleed no more

But to

Endure this pain for

You, my Lord,

Is so much pleasure

Love would be

Too small a word

To describe what

I suffer for you

A sensation so rare?

So rare in love?

Isn’t it?

Only mortals in love

Do feel…..

**********

22^nd April, 2009

“I can see the stars

They seem to smile

I don’t know

If it’s day or night

I know the time is right,

To be in the arms I love

The night sky seems

More beautiful

When the moon and

The Stars dance

Together

Reminds me

When me and my love

Look eye to eye

And our souls dance to

The beat of our heart beats….”

You wrote

This….this?

I am too

Thrilled for words,

Rather,

I now think

It’s spine-chilling.

As I lie besides you

I can see

There….the flotsam

Knowing not where

It is headed.

Knows nothin’

‘bout Love..

And you and me.

As it gets tossed into

The sea,

Again and again..

You smile

You hardly can

Can you..? Comprehend

The gargantuan

Damage

To the soul…

Mine?

No…his, the innocent

The smiling face

The blue baby

The pink lipped…

I can see tears

Searing his

Cheeks, his chubby

Blue cheeks

And almost drenching

His naked chest

Save his gold

Embellishments

As he held me.

Close to his chest….

So close I could

Hardly breathe.

But hear I could

In the rise and fall

Of his heart,

The persecution,

Of the spirits

Locked and barraged

Under the fly-over…

Remember? He asked.

How

I found you…?

Just a lump

Of flesh…

Shorn of all

Your adornments

And belongings…

Lying wretchedly

Like garbage..?

While you were

Dragged apart

From place to place.

No grave big enough

To lay

Your battered soul...

Or small enough?

For your heart.

April, 2009

Two moons…

Later, it was just sweet

Tango

Salsa maybe…?

The adrenaline rush.

The heart beat…beats faster

Bryan Adams’, “Let’s make a night...”

Let’s make sugar, baby, sweet surrender,

Let’s make……”

Yeah..what a night?

Do you remember..?

You do?

I am surprised.

But nights are for the

Dark, the deceit;

Wish I knew what else!

You said.

A lot more than

The usual.

But incoherent..

For me, at least.

My mind is there.

There where my

Brother has died

His limbs torn

Deep gashes

In every bit of

His golden brown body.

I cry and laugh.

I cry for joy

That I am still

Alive

And laugh

That he has left

Me to maybe

Die like him

One day..

Which day?

Today?

Or maybe I am

Already dead.

And he didn’t know.

And you, my sweetheart

Talk of the moon?

And the stars,

Of Love…..?

February, 2009

My Love,

My Lord,

I wish you knew

How much

I love you

From the minute

I met you,

To this moment on,

I have loved you

And you only.

But shun me…?

You did

For a figment.

Oft you look

Distant,

Like a dream,

A Mirage

Knowing not

That this dream

Would one day

Shatter

To pain me

Endlessly,

But Lord, God,

To bear this pain

For you,

Is also bliss.

For I have loved

You

And you only.

You are the reason

I am alive,

Alive with you,

My Krishna,

My God…!

January, 2009

“Blankcheque!” he said.

I was more than

Perplexed

What he meant

A Vortex

Complex and Cupid…

Stupid! I said

But the stars

Said

He is the one

Embroiled though

Of Insecurities.

Love? He held out

Encashing – what?

Pansies, daisies, Tulips

Mama knew better,

She always did.

An aura I knew not

Of the human self.

Indignation?

No..No..

Only gay abandon.